I realise that Olympic Trials ended 2 weeks ago, and that this blog post is long overdue. It would have been easy for me to tell you that I have been too busy to sit down and type out a quick update, but that would be a lie. The truth is, I have spent countless hours in front of my laptop typing, deleting and typing again, but putting my thoughts and feelings into words has proven to be extremely challenging.
I went into Olympic trials with one thought in mind: I was going to the Olympics and nothing was going to get in the way. Nothing. Some would consider this “high expectations”, but I disagree. I didn’t for one second “expect” to make the Olympics because saying that I expected it implies that I thought it would be easy. I knew that I was not the only one fighting for that Olympic spot, to think that would be naive. BUT I also knew that if I allowed myself to think about the “others”, I would lose what I needed to set myself apart from them: the absolute belief that I could do it. So, it was not out of arrogance that I told myself I was going to the Olympics, it was out of necessity. Because believing in yourself is at least half the battle.
As you probably know, as it stands, I did not qualify for the Olympics. When I told myself that nothing would get in the way of this goal, that was unrealistic. In fact, admitting that NOT everything is in my control has been the hardest part.
What I could control was my preparation: the countless long roller skis, the long gym sessions, the gruelling running and bounding intensities, the lactate tests, the daily naps, the numerous meetings with my sports psych, my nutritionist and my coach, my 10PM bedtime and the list goes on and on. The other things; the concussion in September and the month I took off because of it, getting sick with a cold for the two most important races at Olympic Trials, and a document called: Olympic Selection Criteria, those things were out of my control. Dwelling on these things are a waste of energy, energy I would rather put towards more positive thoughts!
I am not telling you all of this so that you feel bad for me. Yes, I want you to understand how I feel, but how I feel isn’t ALL bad. Of course, I am frustrated and heartbroken, but more importantly, I am determined and motivated.
Although I didn’t reach this one dream of mine, it is far from over. I am not just training to be an Olympian, I am training because I truly LOVE the journey and I want to be the best possible skier I can be. The hours I spend preparing for the racing season are what I enjoy most, so goals reached or not, I don’t regret those hours for one second.
Next week I have the opportunity to race my 5th World Junior/U23 World Championships and I plan on making the most of it. I have been feeling stronger and fitter as the season has progressed, so I am confident that I have what it takes to take on the best U23s in the World!
Finally, to my team, my teammates, my family, my friends, my sponsors and my supporters, THANK YOU. I am so lucky that I get to wake up every morning and do what I love best. Without you, this would not be possible. The kind and supportive messages I have received have made this situation a million times easier to handle. I am really excited to continue sharing my journey with you.
To moving on!